1. ATTRACTION STAGE

An individual has the natural flair to get attracted to someone. One gets attracted to one’s physical attributes while others are enticed with somebody’s intellectual skill. Regardless of the reason, such attraction arises from the need to love and belong.  In this stage, imagination is very active. A person fantasizes to be in the loving clutches of that person he or she is attracted to.  The feeling can be titillating. In addition, this stage is characterized by positive dreams, aspirations, hopes and possibilities before ties are made. Although negative thoughts may still rise on the individual, such thoughts are immediately overtaken by delightful feelings.

This phase in a relationship is very prevalent in the first two months and continues to grow until one seeks to approach the other.

The attraction may come from one or both individuals and it transcends to actions. One approaches the other or both will seek to communicate. Once an interaction is made between the individuals, another phase sets in.

2. FAMILIARIZATION STAGE

Attracted individuals get to know each other during this phase. Both seek to know their likes and dislikes about everything. Individuals share views and preferences and seek to understand if necessary. Among the stages of relationships, this moment is vital because both individuals start to reveal their personalities. Undoubtedly, these personalities will determine the course of the relationship.

Although familiarization stage may be a revelation of one’s persona, not everything from the individuals involved is unraveled. As couples go through the stages, familiarization becomes a regular process. As a process, it encompasses the other stages. Familiarization becomes deeper and deeper. In the long run, the couples learn the strength and weak points of each other.

3. COURTSHIP STAGE

This stage is where attraction is best manifested and familiarization takes a significant part. Normally, guys make the bold move during this phase. They expressed their interest to the person they are attracted.

Effort is considered the guys’ best asset in this moment. Guys give gifts, flowers and treat their girls. It is in this stage however, that guys inform their ladies about their intentions. Guys hold high hopes to establish an affair with their love interest during this stage.

Unfortunately, this stage is marred with pretensions and desperate attempts on the guys’ part to win their girls heart. Some girls enjoy the courtship while others are uncomfortable with it.

The courtship period may mean triumph or failure on men. It can last for months or even years. It can be tiring considering the effort and money the guy expends. Moreover, it can be extremely frustrating especially guys are turned down.

4. STRUGGLE STAGE

Admittedly, women succumb to men’s affection. In an affair, couples share both joys and pain present in the relationship. In the struggle period, lovers are challenged with trials that test the strength of the relationship. These trials may strengthen their bond or break it.

The struggle phase is the most critical of all stages. Fights, arguments, break ups and making ups exist during this moment in the relationship. Fortunately, it is on this phase that learning and maturity from both parties start.  One gets to assess the other and the relationship. In short, the future of the relationship is defined in this period.

5. COMMITMENT STAGE

The commitment stage sets in once couples recognize and understand the essence of the relationship. During this stage the couples commit to sustain their relationship despite whatever challenges they will hurdle. Most often, commitment is manifested through marriage vows. Matrimony will serve as the couples’ reminder to accept each others’ misgivings and shortcomings.

The above-mentioned stages of relationships are commonly expected. Various writers termed it differently. What is important is that couples must learn from each stage for a lasting relationship.

1. Is it really required to be in a relationship with someone?
   • Being in a relationship is not required but it is human’s natural tendency to be with someone. Man as a social being seeks for belongingness. More so, since man is an emotional person, that character is best manifested by engaging in a relationship. Though , it is still your choice if you want to engage in a relationship or not.
2. How do I determine if a person is interested with me?
   • A person interested with you looks for facts about you. They either derive the information from your friends or from people associated to you. In addition, one can also look into your personal records in a company or at school discreetly. Moreover, some who are confident will approach you in person to ask about yourself and your whereabouts.
   • Nonetheless, one must not be too presumptuous to conclude that if one person is exchanging glances with you then that person is interested with you. Glances can mean something pleasant or not.
3. What is the best way to make someone understand that you love him or her?
   • Letting someone know that you love him or her requires both words and actions.
   • Honestly informing the person you love is one courageous move but not everyone is bold enough to do so.
   • Actions speak louder than words. Expressing your interest in the person includes making the person feel how special that person is to you.
   • Caring for the person is one effective scheme to express your love as well. Finding time to check and be with your partner would make him or her really feel treasured.
4. How can I say that I am truly in love and not just merely infatuated?
   • Infatuation is characterized by extreme fondness, liking or admiration to a person which may mean not having deep feelings toward the person.
   • Infatuation changes in a span of time. It may or may not necessarily last. It can come from a sudden attraction on somebody’s physical features or wit. In the long run, infatuation may just fade.
   • Being in love goes beyond admiration. It involves caring, trusting and seeks to engage in a relationship with someone you are attracted to.
5. Can a relationship start from infatuation?
   • A relationship may or not necessarily start from infatuation. Its duration greatly depends on the person who is infatuated. Only he or she can raise it into a deeper feeling.
6. Why do relationships involve trials?
   • Trials are conceived negatively by some. Trials are meant to strengthen relationships.  In the absence of challenges, couples will not know how far they can handle their relationships.
   • Trials determine if a relationship is worth keeping or not.
   • Trials spice up any relationship.
   • It can be both rewarding and depressing.
7. Can trials be avoided?
   • Problems can be avoided but never trials. Problems are part and parcel of trials and must not be taken lightly.
   • Relationships go through problematic situations whenever couples commit mistakes.
8. Why do lover’s breakup?
   • Lovers breakup because they couldn’t handle the pressures and trials they face.
   • Some prefer to breakup for running out of love.
   • Others prefer to breakup to give space. Provide each couple the time to reflect on an issue or with the relationship.
   • More so, lovers end relationships when they always fail to agree.
9. Is it important to give a broken relationship another chance?
   • If couples still see the reasons for another chance, by all means it is necessary.
10. What important factors should I consider when making up for a broken relationship?
    • Virtues like patience, humility, self-control and love are very important in making up for a relationship.
    • Couples need to give the highest priority on these traits to sustain the relationship.
    • Furthermore, couples must discuss issues and find ways to resolve it.

Getting back together is a procedure however. It is not just merely forgetting each other’s mistakes and moving forward. The reasons for the breakup must be determined and should be dealt accordingly. More so, a sense of admission of each fault is required.

As a process, getting back together involves both parties. It is a cooperative effort between the lovers. It will not accomplish anything if only one works to amend the issue.

Partners should find time to go through the problem. They must identify reasons why the conflict emerged and what means will solve it. Both should keep in mind that every problem always has an equivalent solution. If it means sitting down and discussing the problem thoroughly, so be it.

Of course, since partners are held accountable for the breakup, nobody must blame each other. Understanding each failure is crucial here. Pointing fingers will just worsen the issue and it may prevent conflict resolution. If both seeks to admit their mistakes and are determined to correct it, reviving the relationship is feasible. The conflicting partners must enumerate the ways to address the problem. In addition, provide the means to avoid it in the future and should take full responsibility in improving the relationship.

Who says problems can be avoided? Problems, issues and conflicts in a relationship will never cease to exist. But they can never be enough reasons why relationship couldn’t be recovered.

Moreover, partners must refrain from being so egoistic. Efforts of getting back will not amount to anything if pride prevails. Humility is a vital ingredient in the procedure. Each is expected to be thoughtful and considerate.

Lastly, the procedure of getting back always entails commitment. It is a commitment to sustain the relationship no matter what future issues will happen. Partners must be committed to work the relationship out despite their shortcomings.

Love can be hurtful whenever we act contrary to its ideals. In any given relationship, if one, if not both parties show distrust and unfaithfulness love will be compromised. The unwillingness of couples to settle differences may extinguish love. But, it is this same virtue that relationship lasts especially if couples heal love.

Healing love must always start from knowing and understanding the essence of love. As follows are the primary characteristics of love.

Love is patient. Humans are prone to errors. Any couple must understand that nobody is perfect. When couples recognize this fact, each is expected to understand each other’s mistakes. Couples must then seek ways to amend it. Healing love always involve the heart to hear and understand each side of the story.

Love is kind. It is never selfish. Couples making up for a shattered relationship must never allow hatred to overpower them. Hatred will placed a barrier, strong enough to prevent communication. To heal love, couples must be forgiving. Couples must accept each other’s apologies. And since mistakes are unavoidable, couples must find ways to resolve the conflict before it becomes a wildfire.

Love is not proud. Love is always gracious. It never is oppressive. It is never fault finding. Healing love always involve humbling down for the sake of reviving the relationship. If couples do not accept accountability on their mistakes, reviving the relationship will not be fulfilled. Each must be open to corrections and suggestions. Couples must recognize the value of a sound decision-making when resolving conflicts without stepping on one’s will. Man and women must bear in mind that a relationship is a give and take process. Both must be benefited.

Despite the never ending trials on relationships, couples must seek to heal love. Healing love however, requires understanding what lies within the virtue. Relationships are sure to last if couples work together in the process.

Reflection is a must. A woman must first recognize her attitude before and during the situations which led to the breakup. A woman must have to go through self-examination. One must review the responses made when the relationship still existed and when it was challenged by a problem. You may be insecure, paranoid, or may have always been indifferent to your partner. Undoubtedly, women sometimes have tendency to give false accusations to men with or without factual basis. If a woman recognizes her shortcomings, she will also have the heart to understand her partner. A woman has to strive for a change toward a positive attitude. Of course, she has to honestly inform her partner of this act so that winning the latter back would not be difficult.

Women must be forgiving. Women must not just forgive their partners but themselves as well. If a woman fails to do so, moving on would become very hard. Hence, forgiving oneself involves identifying the mistake and learning from it. A woman has to know the reasons why she has to forgive herself. If she successfully forgives herself then eventually forgiving her partner will not be hard.

Avoidance of actions that the guy dislikes must be considered. Self sacrifice is a key ingredient in this attempt. You are not giving your man full dominion over you of course but you must ignore the things that are unbecoming for your guy.

Provide your partner a space. No matter how desperate you are in getting your guy back, you must give him space to think and relax. This can be very hard to do because you don’t want to delay. In this case, you must be patient to wait. A woman has to understand that the steps on how to get him back demand space and time.

The steps on how to get him back will indeed require sacrifice. A woman just needs to be persistent enough.

A friend of mine made a confession regarding the bold moves he did to win her girl back. My presentation of his attempts doesn’t mean his actions are appropriate and must therefore be followed.  I seek to shed light on the pros and cons that these actions have on how to get your ex-girlfriend back.

Begging the girlfriend to stay

Begging that a girlfriend stays is a common strategy that most guys employ to win their girlfriends back. Begging may include blackmailing the girl to stay, lest the guy will take his own life. It can also mean submitting oneself to the girls’ full dominion and authority. My friend recounts that there have been reckless attempts which he had to kneel before his girlfriend vowing to do whatever his girlfriend pleases as long as she stays.

Persuasion

Persuasion includes convincing the girl that a breakup is just but one unavoidable circumstance that is common on any relationship. Persuasion may also involve giving gifts, flowers and even money which are referred to as peace offerings.

Though the above actions may result to favorable responses at times, they cannot assure longevity and stability of the relationship. There will always be a contest of power on decision-making between the two parties. There is just but one vital way on how to get your ex-girlfriend back, and that is HUMILITY. You must admit the fault done and seek means to resolve the conflict. You must forgive and be forgiven. Communication is crucial in this attempt. A guy has to clear out issues with his girlfriend and must be open to her point of views. A guy must find ways to prevent if not lessen conflicts. Lastly, must cooperate to sustain the relationship if the girlfriend decides to stay.

The magic of making up is composed of three crucial elements namely; communication which is always a two-way process: speaking and listening, humility and understanding. Moreover, these three must be seasoned with LOVE.

Men and women always need to have the time to discuss differences. These differences can come in different forms. They can be principles, decisions, and views. Both parties must give each other the opportunity to air out grievances, expressed ideas and recommend solutions to problems. Communication may not necessarily mean ones idea is better than the other. It should be a combination of views between lovers to resolve conflicts. A win-win situation must be upheld on both parties However, good communication isn’t always observed therefore resulting to a breakup.

Humility must prevail during heated situations. Conflicting parties must have the time to think of each other’s misgivings so as not to prolong the fight. If parties allow pride to rule, each person responsible will not have the heart to admit his or her own faults. The failure to accept the mistakes will place the relationship into detriment. In the absence of humility, communication and decision making are always compromised hence a resolution will not be met.

Understanding must be prevalent on both ongoing and broken relationships. This keeps the passion burning in a relationship. Men and women must always remember that as humans, each is blessed with unique qualities. These same unique qualities fuel the relationship, the very same reason for conflicts to arise. Nonetheless, if both parties understand this gift, making up isn’t hard to do.

Above all, LOVE must never cease to exist in any given relationship. Communication, humility and understanding must be seasoned with love. The famous adage “Love conquers all” will always ring true now and forever.

Undoubtedly, boy and girl relationship will always be challenged but one can certainly keep a relationship if one considers the magic of making up.